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My earlier post dwelt at length on the need to forgive, the command of the Lord to forgive and the benefits of forgiveness. It also dwelt briefly on the issues unforgiveness can cause. This looks at practical tips on how to forgive.

• Prepare a list of people you need to forgive. Ask God to remind you of those you need to forgive. Don’t be surprised if it’s long. 😉

• At the end of the list, add your name and God’s. Technically we cannot and we don’t need to ‘forgive’ God because he is sinless and perfect. But we need to let go off resentment, bad attitudes and wrong ideas about God. We need to quit blaming him for all that has happened in our lives that we might feel He as an omnipotent, loving God did not prevent.

• Go through the list prayerfully. Ask God to enable you to forgive them one by one. Name them, forgive them for their sins against you, pray for them and bless them. Speak out your forgiveness before God. Confessing the truth with our mouths paves the way to birthing it in our hearts and emotions.

• Do this as often as you need to; if necessary daily, or when the old feelings surge up. Over time, you will find the list gets shorter, and praying blessings on those who hurt you gets easier. You might even find yourself interceding with God for them.

• Remember, forgiveness is a conscious act of your will to obey God. It’s not dependent on you feeling like forgiving. That will come in due time.

• Ask God to heal you of the consequences of the sins against you and the consequences of holding onto unforgiveness, bitterness, judgement, resentment, anger, hurt…and let them go. Appropriate this healing by faith just as all else in the Christian life. Allow the Holy Spirit access to your spirit, soul and body.

• Forgive yourself for your sinful responses and attitudes to yourself. We have all said things like, “I’ll never forgive myself for ……” (Fill in the blanks).

• ‘Forgive’ God. Quit blaming him and lay down sinful attitudes against him. Choose to believe and proclaim the truth of who He really is, especially as it applies to the situation. God, Sovereign, always good, just, holy, righteous, merciful, gracious, compassionate, slow to become angry, quick to forgive. Loving, kind…. Allow these truths to sink deep into your spirit.

Sample prayers.

You can pray something like this. Most of all, allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you.

“Father, I thank you that you have forgiven me all my sins. Help now to forgive people the sins they have committed against me. I choose to forgive [insert name] for [name the sin] against me. Lord, I now choose to let resentment, bitterness, anger, hurt go. Forgive me for holding onto sinful responses [list those responses if led at this point or later] against [insert name]. I release them into my forgiveness and into your hands. I now choose to bless [insert name] with [insert the type of blessing – eg salvation, peace, etc] in Jesus’ name. I ask you now, Lord, to heal my spirit, soul and body of all the effects of these sins and to set me loose from the ties that have bound me to [insert person’s name] and to the pain of the past. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Remember to bless those who have despitefully used you and to pray for them. It helps you forgive that much easier. Remember, none of us deserve to have our sins forgiven by God. We don’t forgive people because they deserve it. We forgive them because we need to for our sakes and because we are imitators of Christ who forgave us even when we didn’t deserve it.

To ‘forgive’ God say something like this:

“Lord, forgive me for holding onto wrong ideas and thoughts about you. For believing that you are [insert the wrong belief/attitude/thought you had about God. For eg: God is unjust, unkind, partial]. I declare that it is a lie and the truth is that you are [insert the truth about God that applies here – eg – you are a just, kind and impartial, loving God]. The truth is that You also didn’t like the bad things that happened to me. I will never again blame you for the bad things that happen to me. Help me to hold onto the truth of who You really are and to let go of the lies. Let your truth change me from the inside out as I hold onto it and practise it. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”